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Looking back, Baheyya says she was a different
person when she got married.
At 22 she had fallen in love while at university
in Egypt, and as a devout Muslim she believed that marriage was the only proper
way to continue her relationship.
Although marriage wouldn’t have been her first choice
at that point, she remembers her relationship as a true love story, and for the
first couple of years she was happy as a wife.
But then things changed. Baheyya struggled with the
pressures of motherhood, and as the Egyptian Revolution of 2011 opened up
conversations in society, she started questioning some of her assumptions about
what she could and should expect from life.
“I became a bit more liberal when it
came to my spiritual beliefs [and]my political views. And he was still very
conservative on both matters.”
The relationship changed as Baheyya and her husband
grew further apart, fighting not just about everyday issues, but big questions
about life.
“I remember that he looked at me, he
gave me a look and he said ‘I’m not really sure I know you anymore’.”
Eventually, the couple agreed that separating was
the best way forward for them, joining the growing number of Egyptians who choose
to get divorced.
A generation ago, in conservative societies in
particular, women didn’t have the same freedom to end a marriage that men did.
In cases where a marriage turned bad, wives were simply expected to endure it.
Even now, Baheyya says she was lucky to have the financial independence that
made divorcing possible for her.
A 2018 study found that one fifth of marriages in
Egypt end in divorce each year. To some, this is a concerning trend, but to
others – like Baheyya – it’s a sign of freedom.